At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
