see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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