I want to stick my p in your. b.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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