I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize