K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
