is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
