I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
