HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize