porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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