my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
