You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Randomize
