I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
