i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
