How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
