We named our party play list daddy issues
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize