dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
All I want is dick and wine.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
