at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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