At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You need a sexual gate keeper
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
