Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
