how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
