It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
