I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
