Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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