Nicole vs. Life
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
