It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
