So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
