So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
