if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
