It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize