hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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