I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
