he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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