I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
