I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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