hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
