i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
As shirtless as possible
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
