why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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