DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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