It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
