It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Randomize
