So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
