he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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