very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize