the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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