Kiss
Puke
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
