I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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