Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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