I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
