how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
They have beer where we have blood.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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