I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
