Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
