i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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