Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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