Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
