You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
