So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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