Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
