Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
