I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
