My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Soap is not a condiment
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We're too hungover to prance.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
