He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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