I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just invented taco cereal.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
