Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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