I want to stick my p in your. b.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
