I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
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