Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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