people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
