Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
