I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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