I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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