why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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